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Seth Rogen: The Green Hornet

Seth Rogen -- the (usually) likeable stoner with a rumbling voice from the Judd Apatow movies -- is starring in the title role in the 2010 film adaptation of The Green Hornet. The story of Britt Reid's alter ego originated in a 1930s radio show about a newspaper publisher by day, badass crime-fighter by night, and has since spawned several (unknown to me) TV series and comic books.

The thing that struck me about this tidbit was Seth Rogen as a superhero. Um, really? The quintessential slacker is taking on a superhero role?

At any rate, I doubt he'll fail. Since the character is relatively unknown, there are no expectations on how the Green Hornet should act, think, talk, or move. His mannerisms are up for interpretation, meaning Rogen can take whatever feel he wants to the role. As far as avoiding typical superhero movie failures, Rogen should be in the clear. Now, the producers only have to worry about the regular movie woes, i.e. trying to make it entertaining and not make it, you know, suckish.

Granted, Rogen can do whatever the hell he wants with the role; he's also one of the screenplay writers. Also involved in the project: Cameron Diaz as the token chick (yawn). The director, Michel Gondry, won an Oscar for Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.

Party-Crashing at the VMAs

I wanted to see the VMAs weeks before it aired, and I'm so ticked I didn't get to see it live. You've already heard what happened, but here's the collection of YouTube clips.

First, Lil Mama crashes Jay-Z's and Alicia Keys's performance. She said she was "really feelin' it," and gosh darn it, she couldn't be contained in her seat!



The second-best new Internet meme of Photoshop after Kanye.



I don't need to explain what happened with Taylor Swift and Kanye West. Even if I did, I'm not in the US right now, and MTV deleted all videos of the incident so that it would be the only one with footage, yet it's not offered outside of the US. Douchetools.

I stole this from bigtimenarutofan on YouTube, the only international file-sharing site that won't give me a virus.

Lizard tails have a mind of their own?

Something like that. A lizard or a gecko can jump without a tail, even though its balance is off. However, did you know a tail will keep flopping around by itself after it's been chopped off from the rest of the body? Scientists have new evidence that suggests disembodied lizard tails know to move on their own because they react to the new environment. So, if you poke it, it'll recoil. If it's off on its own, it'll jump around in a panic. It looks like this:



Kinda reminds me of Thing from the Addams Family.

The Ryan Jenkins Irony

Vh1 makes its money by making Jerry Springer primetime. It started with a spinoff of a spinoff to its most popular series, and since then, entertainment developed its own genre: "trainwreck TV."

After The Surreal Life led to Flavor Flav's and Brigitte Nielsen's spinoff, in which Nielsen dumped Flav, the revolution of the trashy version of The Bachelor hit with Flavor of Love. Now, Vh1's programming virtually only consists of dating show spinoffs from former contestants and I Love Money, which consists of former dating contestants competing for money instead of lust -- er, "love."

The editing is heavy, most of the fights seemed staged, and almost everybody's dignity is scrapped. Vh1 creates entertainment by illustrating the negative yet comical aspects of individuals. To do this, the network exploits its contestants' naïveté.

When the media released news of the Ryan Jenkins's gruesome yet alleged murder-suicide, Vh1 canceled both shows in which Jenkins appeared: Megan Wants a Millionaire and I Love Money 3. If Vh1 aired those episodes, ratings would no doubt shoot up higher than anything the network had ever seen. Case study: If Heath Ledger's tragedy had not occurred before the release of The Dark Knight, there's no way it would have drawn the audiences it did to beat out Star Wars: Episode IV -- A New Hope for one of the most popular movies of all time, behind only Titanic.

A classy move from a network that makes its money by exhibiting the lack of class in its contestants.

A move that respects the morals of Vh1 and the dignity of the tragedy's victims and families from a network that's accused of being morally bankrupt.

Ironic, isn't it? Yet it's a welcome irony.

Politicians go all Jerry Springer on your ass!

Maybe it's because August is a notoriously slow news month, but the politicians in this country (the US) are beginning to unravel. Decorum has been chucked out the window of a campaign bus in favor of snapping at citizens who are asking questions.

I don't believe there's a completely direct link between entertainment media and reality. In fact, I scoffed this morning when a DJ on 98 PXY suggested Ryan Jenkins, a man who brutally murdered his ex-wife, was driven to his psychotic state of violence because he may have watched Power Rangers as a child. Howevs, if I did think that, then I would attribute the strange behavior of some politicians to the rise of reality television.

Either that, or it's an early sign of the 2012 apocalypse.

Example A: Hillary Clinton. In a trip to various parts of Africa, she stopped in Congo on August 10th to answer questions from college students. Personally, I'd understand how she's feeling. If your career was built on the coattails of somebody else, your insecurity against these criticisms would lead you to rehearse this speech time and again. The funniest part is, the question that was asked didn't even accuse of her of acting like what my sister calls "Billary." Watch and enjoy.



Example B: Barney Frank. I love watching this video. I'm sure they show this video to up-and-coming politicians in their Publicity 101 class to demonstrate what NOT to do. Still, even if you're a Republican, there must have been times when you've wanted somebody to say something like this to somebody who's being stupid. Anybody who believes the fear-mongering bull Bill O'Reilly writes deserves Frank's answer here. Now, if only somebody would play this audio to the kiddies who claim Obama is a terrorist because his middle name is "Hussein."

Bill Gates: Weather God

Bill Gates is applying for a patent so he can be even more godlike than usual. Remember when I said the MindFLEX could help you be like Jean Grey? Well, Gates wants to one-up Mattel by trying to be like Storm.

Maybe since Gates was voted Person of the Year by TIME a couple years ago, he has adopted a divine quality that only the richest man in the world could have.

Gates submitted patent applications for a technology that would cool the waters that cause hurricanes. Since warm waters cause and increase the intensity of hurricanes, in theory, cooler water would decrease the magnitude of -- or eliminate -- hurricane winds.

CNN describes the potential invention as a series of tubes, which would push warm water down and spurt cool water out.

So, Gates and his team of scientists are going to sit around, wait until a hurricane threat is announced, fly in his private jets to wherever the location is, and then magically suck out warm water and replace it with cooler water, that happens to stay cool?

Have fun with that.

Hey, Gates, if you don't get that patent, go ahead with your plan anyway. If you were anybody but the richest dude in the world, I'd say nay, but since you're you, I'd love to see this hunk of junk in use. Put it on YouTube, please.